Dan Gilbert is a psychologist who specifically studies happiness. He's come up with the impact bias (the gap between what we predict and what we ultimately experience) and the difference between synthetic happiness and natural happiness. I agree with both of his views because of my own personal experiences.
Like almost any girl, or anybody, I can relate the impact bias to my own relationships. I can honestly say that I have made many bad decisions based on what I thought I felt. Thinking, "Oh, I'll be better with this boy because he can make me laugh more.", or something along those lines. All to find out in the end that the one who made me laugh more only did because of his immaturity and I'd had the boy who would really get me. The thing that I had really been looking for. In my simulation of how future events would play out I miscalculated, something Dan Gilbert calls, miswanting.
In my current relationship I also doubted myself about my standings. Everything hadn't played out the way I had planned or expected. Even when I was happy, I didn't think it was right because it wasn't what I'd expected. I had thought that with my decision I was going to be naturally happy and since it was a different kind of happiness, I thought it wasn't as valuable or significant. But the happiness that grew on me, that I did feel (synthetic happiness) was just as good, just as important. I was happier then I could have been if it had worked out the way I planned. It just took me sometime to realize that synthetic happiness, the happiness I felt, was just as awesome as if it had been natural.
Dan Gilbert was right in his views in my opinion. Due to the impact bias I think people make a lot of wrong choices without even realizing. They think their future is going to have so much more of an impact on them then it will, because we all adapt. Also, a lot of people don't realize synthetic happiness is just as real and meaningful. They think if things don't work out the way they want they wont be able to find happiness. Hopefully in the future more people will know Dan Gilberts' teachings. Then the impact bias might not happen as often and people can be happy with what they have.
Hey Gaby. I like to say that i agree with the begginings of your writting, and with the example that you give. However i think that you made a confusion between the natural happiness and syntetic happyness in the example that you have given. Synthetic happines reffers more to thinks that people.
ReplyDeleteIn reading your blog, I also agree with you in Dan Gilbert's studies of impact bias. I like how you used both of your relationships to show how impact bias can affect your life. I also can relate to what you stated about your second relationship and how doubted yourself because it was not what you expected. I felt the same way about the relationship I am in now but I gradually realized that I was really happy and came to know synthetic happiness. In the beginning some sentences were not so clear, but i really enjoyed reading your blog especially because I was able to relate it to my personal experiences. I also agree with you when you stated, "Hopefully in the future more people will know Dan Gilberts' teachings. Then the impact bias might not happen as often and people can be happy with what they have." If more people knew what synthetic happiness was, the world would be more positive and happier.
ReplyDeleteI also thought the one who made me laugh was what i wanted in a relationship but yea your right it was just that he was immature. Haha I hope it goes well with your relationship right now and you'll be satisfied with what you got. =]
ReplyDeleteI think you gave a really good example of the impact bias in your experiences. I know a lot of girls who have been stuck between two guys, and made a decision just like yours. They feel because one has a better trait, the relationship will be of a better result.
ReplyDeleteLike Dan Gilbert said, we make these predictions thinking that in the long run it will make us happier then we've ever been. Then, we find out that what we sought out to make us happy, never really did. In some situations they do make us happy, but the feeling doesn't last as long as we believed it would.
I think your point of view towards Dan Gilbert was very good.You seem like you understood the material in dept and you explained yourself well.I agree with you, I also hope that people would realize that synthetic happiness is one major factor in how we choose our happiness.
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of interesting ideas and examples in this blog post. Like your other readers, I think love relationships are a great place for humans to discover their own impact biases. There is one big thing lacking - paragraphs!!! This would help put ideas that go together in one place, and help us follow your argument. Also, beware of sentence fragments. Good job!
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