Thesis: With the number of people in the happiness movement rising, it only makes sense that the number of criticisms would rise also.
Or
With the numbers rising in the happiness movement, people are pushing others to be happy, causing many criticisms to the movement.
Works Cited
Heathcote¸ Elizabeth. “Does the Happiness Formula really add up?” The Independent. 20 June 2010. Web. 20 November 2010
Bloom, Amy. “The Rap on Happiness.” The New York Times. 29 January 2010.Web. 20 November 2010
Mackie, Greg. “Is the Pursuit of Happiness Misguided?” Circle of Atonement. Web. 20 November 2010
Begley, Sharon. “Happiness: Enough Already” Newsweek. 02 February 2008. Web. 20 November 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Gratitude Blog
This year hasn't been the best of years for me. A lot of things out of my control happened, but I'm sure there's a few things I can be grateful for. I'm sure also, once I start writing things down, I'll remember a lot more then a few. This year I've fixed my relationship and started school, so those are at least two things I can be grateful for.
The thing I'm honestly most grateful for this past year, despite our rocky relationship, has been my boyfriend Phil. We've had a lot of up's and down's (mostly down's!) the past two years, but we've grown a lot. In the past seven months though we grew for each other. We realized that we really do love one another and began to accept each other more freely. Though we are both struggling with things individually, we learned to be there for each other rather then blame one another. He's also, to put it simply, really stepped his game up. He's been more attentive, honest, open, and has almost completely gained my trust back (almost!). Were also now pooling our resources together and looking for a place to live, which is frightening but also exciting. I also may have found a place close to school and he wouldn't mind moving wherever I need to be.
Another thing I'm grateful for this year is that it's my first year of college, even though I finished high school in 2006. For the past about four years, I just floated around not sure what I wanted to do. Sure, during the time, I've had many jobs and tried many new things, but none of it was what I wanted to do. I was caught in a rut basically working dead end jobs, just trying to figure out a way to make ends meat. Now I'm back in school and finally perusing what I love. Even though adjusting back into school is difficult, its extremely rewarding.
So despite this year being a hard one I can still find some things to be grateful for. Even though it may seem like I'm just happy for my boyfriend, its not just him, its the way he takes care of me and also helps me be grateful for the other things going on in my life. Between school and Phil, maybe this year hasn't been such a bad one!
The thing I'm honestly most grateful for this past year, despite our rocky relationship, has been my boyfriend Phil. We've had a lot of up's and down's (mostly down's!) the past two years, but we've grown a lot. In the past seven months though we grew for each other. We realized that we really do love one another and began to accept each other more freely. Though we are both struggling with things individually, we learned to be there for each other rather then blame one another. He's also, to put it simply, really stepped his game up. He's been more attentive, honest, open, and has almost completely gained my trust back (almost!). Were also now pooling our resources together and looking for a place to live, which is frightening but also exciting. I also may have found a place close to school and he wouldn't mind moving wherever I need to be.
Another thing I'm grateful for this year is that it's my first year of college, even though I finished high school in 2006. For the past about four years, I just floated around not sure what I wanted to do. Sure, during the time, I've had many jobs and tried many new things, but none of it was what I wanted to do. I was caught in a rut basically working dead end jobs, just trying to figure out a way to make ends meat. Now I'm back in school and finally perusing what I love. Even though adjusting back into school is difficult, its extremely rewarding.
So despite this year being a hard one I can still find some things to be grateful for. Even though it may seem like I'm just happy for my boyfriend, its not just him, its the way he takes care of me and also helps me be grateful for the other things going on in my life. Between school and Phil, maybe this year hasn't been such a bad one!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
happiness & relationships paper
When it comes to happiness and your love life, you'll find that the beliefs you had about it as a child will drastically change as an adult. As a child you are conditioned to view love a certain way. Through media and our parents, love and happiness are viewed more like a fairytale then a way to live. Having spent years expecting love to be one way causes people to mishandle it and ruin perfectly functional relationships. If people allowed room for error, then perhaps they could be happier in their relationships.
As a child you are raised to believe there's a perfect person for everyone. You believe this because of what you have learned through the years. As a young child you hear fairytales and watch disney movies. How do the movies usually go, an evil with puts a princess under a spell that can only be broke by true loves kiss? (Snow white, sleeping beauty). Or even in some, the young girl gets captured and is forced to deal with a somewhat abusive male figure, because in the end she'll love him regardless (Beauty & the Beast) (Ben-Shahar p 116). This is how were conditioned to view love, either that one day some perfect fictional person is going to come along and make everything right or that to find true love, you have to suffer.
Due to being raised with these beliefs effects a persons current day relationships. Since you're raised to believe that your prince charming or that one special person is coming along forces one to expect people to live up to unrealistic standards. Also, something psychologist Dan Gilbert describes as the "impact bias", the error we make in determining how long something will affect us, plays a big part in relationships (qtd. in Gertner 8). Due to this we might leave someone who is perfect for us for someone who we just think will make us happier because of lust. A lot of the time too people will go to another person because that person makes them feel "validated", praised. (Ben-Shahar p 119). Despite this, it is more often shown that the biggest key to having a flourishing happy relationship is truely knowing someone and loving them regardless, its even more likely to keep the relationships interesting (Ben-Shahar p 120).
Other then the few people those childhood beliefs may work for, most people find their healthy happiest relationships because they learn to view love differently. When people are more releastic about how a relationship should work its easier to function in one. Also, when many people stop doing what Dan Gilbert describes as "miswanting", the act of mistaking what will give us pleasure (qtd. in Gertner 8). If you can stop pushing someone away because of some unreachable standard, you could actually get to know someone for who they are. People in the most functioning relationships have let go of the standard and jus been honest about love. Once you drop the old fashioned ideas and get to really know someone, you can fully appreciate someone for who they are and find happiness with them.
If you look at love the way you did as a child, most of the time you're only setting yourself up for dissapointment. Despite what the media leads you to believe love isn't all about unreleastic expectations and happy fairytale ending. Its about love, compromise, and accepting someone for what they really are. If people can let go of their predetermined beliefs on love, then it will be easier for people to find happiness in their relationships.
As a child you are raised to believe there's a perfect person for everyone. You believe this because of what you have learned through the years. As a young child you hear fairytales and watch disney movies. How do the movies usually go, an evil with puts a princess under a spell that can only be broke by true loves kiss? (Snow white, sleeping beauty). Or even in some, the young girl gets captured and is forced to deal with a somewhat abusive male figure, because in the end she'll love him regardless (Beauty & the Beast) (Ben-Shahar p 116). This is how were conditioned to view love, either that one day some perfect fictional person is going to come along and make everything right or that to find true love, you have to suffer.
Due to being raised with these beliefs effects a persons current day relationships. Since you're raised to believe that your prince charming or that one special person is coming along forces one to expect people to live up to unrealistic standards. Also, something psychologist Dan Gilbert describes as the "impact bias", the error we make in determining how long something will affect us, plays a big part in relationships (qtd. in Gertner 8). Due to this we might leave someone who is perfect for us for someone who we just think will make us happier because of lust. A lot of the time too people will go to another person because that person makes them feel "validated", praised. (Ben-Shahar p 119). Despite this, it is more often shown that the biggest key to having a flourishing happy relationship is truely knowing someone and loving them regardless, its even more likely to keep the relationships interesting (Ben-Shahar p 120).
Other then the few people those childhood beliefs may work for, most people find their healthy happiest relationships because they learn to view love differently. When people are more releastic about how a relationship should work its easier to function in one. Also, when many people stop doing what Dan Gilbert describes as "miswanting", the act of mistaking what will give us pleasure (qtd. in Gertner 8). If you can stop pushing someone away because of some unreachable standard, you could actually get to know someone for who they are. People in the most functioning relationships have let go of the standard and jus been honest about love. Once you drop the old fashioned ideas and get to really know someone, you can fully appreciate someone for who they are and find happiness with them.
If you look at love the way you did as a child, most of the time you're only setting yourself up for dissapointment. Despite what the media leads you to believe love isn't all about unreleastic expectations and happy fairytale ending. Its about love, compromise, and accepting someone for what they really are. If people can let go of their predetermined beliefs on love, then it will be easier for people to find happiness in their relationships.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Happiness & Romantic Relationships - > Blog 5
Maintaining happiness in a romantic relationship is difficult. When you start a relationship, everything is perfect (at least it should be!). As things continue though, you'll find that it's harder to keep the initial love alive. Between all the hardships you'll face together and having to accept someone else for everything they are, sometimes its hard to remember that you love the person at all. When faced with this point of your relationship you can either complain about it, fix it, or simply accept it.
Through my own long-term relationship, I find it true that its hard to maintain happiness in romantic relationships. Of course when my relationship first started, things couldn't have been better but soon enough things changed. Together we had been through so much, we just were exhausted. We had also done so much to hurt each other, it was hard to remember how things were in the beginning. It was also difficult to accept someone for all their faults, and enjoy the parts of them that weren't necessarily faults, but merely didn't compliment me. Instead of going one way with how to handle it, I went though all three like stages.
At first I just complained, about everything! Complaining though never fixed anything, it only ever caused way more of a strain on our relationship. Then once the complaining had officially made things worse, I tried fixing whatever was causing all our problems. Trying to fix everything just proved to be harder. I wasn't sure what I was trying to fix, I just knew I wasn't happy. As I was working tirelessly to fix things though, I realized there really wasn't anything that needed fixing. Me trying to fix him all the time, made me realize what I was doing, and actually love him more. Due to that, I began to enjoy my relationship again and finally decided that I would just accept my relationship for what it was. As soon as I did that, and let go of whatever I had thought a relationship should be, I became happier.
Maintaining happiness in romantic relationships is a hard endeavor. Its hard to find someone who you get along with and who accepts you. Singer Sara Bareilles says, "When you start to make room for the parts that aren't you it gets harder to bloom in a garden of love." This is true about relationships, which are hard on their own without adding deep meaning to them. When you find its hard you can either complain, try to fix it, or accept it. I'm almost positive though, that depending on the circumstance, if you try to just accept that which you cannot change, you can find plenty happiness in your relationships.
Through my own long-term relationship, I find it true that its hard to maintain happiness in romantic relationships. Of course when my relationship first started, things couldn't have been better but soon enough things changed. Together we had been through so much, we just were exhausted. We had also done so much to hurt each other, it was hard to remember how things were in the beginning. It was also difficult to accept someone for all their faults, and enjoy the parts of them that weren't necessarily faults, but merely didn't compliment me. Instead of going one way with how to handle it, I went though all three like stages.
At first I just complained, about everything! Complaining though never fixed anything, it only ever caused way more of a strain on our relationship. Then once the complaining had officially made things worse, I tried fixing whatever was causing all our problems. Trying to fix everything just proved to be harder. I wasn't sure what I was trying to fix, I just knew I wasn't happy. As I was working tirelessly to fix things though, I realized there really wasn't anything that needed fixing. Me trying to fix him all the time, made me realize what I was doing, and actually love him more. Due to that, I began to enjoy my relationship again and finally decided that I would just accept my relationship for what it was. As soon as I did that, and let go of whatever I had thought a relationship should be, I became happier.
Maintaining happiness in romantic relationships is a hard endeavor. Its hard to find someone who you get along with and who accepts you. Singer Sara Bareilles says, "When you start to make room for the parts that aren't you it gets harder to bloom in a garden of love." This is true about relationships, which are hard on their own without adding deep meaning to them. When you find its hard you can either complain, try to fix it, or accept it. I'm almost positive though, that depending on the circumstance, if you try to just accept that which you cannot change, you can find plenty happiness in your relationships.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Human Metrics
I didn't really learn anything about myself. I might take the test over again to see if I get a different result. Yea, I didn't learn anything about myself. I already knew I was good with animals and reading, and which i derive more enjoyment from.
I would also make a terrible counselor.
I would also make a terrible counselor.
Blog HW 4 --> Happiness at Work
Why is it that people cant find happiness at work? Some people pursue their career for the money, hoping to have a better life, or one for their kids. Others do it because of what society tells them and their fear of judgment and poverty. Or because of what Stephanie Rosenbloom mentions in the reading, "hedonic adaption" (the phenomenon in which people become used to good or bad changes to maintain their level of happiness). If people could pursue what they love, maybe they could be happier at work.
If entertainment teaches us anything it's that money rules the world. Like Wu-Tang says, "cash rules everything around me", which is true. People are conditioned to think that happiness can only be achieved through material items and financial gain. So, people pursue a job as a lawyer, hating majoring in law, because in the end they'll be able to afford that big house in the hills. Not saying there's anything wrong with that, but will that big house really make them happy when they have to grudgingly go to a job they hate everyday to maintain that house?
Some people choose a profession they don't enjoy because of fear and what society (friends, teachers, family) tell them. So many times you hear about a kid who wants to be an artist or a musician being told by someone "oh, don't do that, you wont make any money! It's to competitive!". J.K. Rowling like many other kids was told the same thing. In her Harvard speech she mentions that her parents viewed her "over active imagination as an amusing personal quirk that will never pay the mortgage". Rowling though, took a chance other people are too scared to, she pursued what she thought she'd love. While at first she failed, in the end she became a wildly author.
People have trouble finding happiness at work because of their fear to do what they love. A fear of poverty and judgment from the people in their life causes them to go for what will make others happy or bring in the biggest buck. I was told so many times not to go for a career throughout the years. The classic, "oh, there's no jobs" or "there's too much math in that! Don't do that!". Recently I've decided to ignore peoples negative inputs and do what I think I'll enjoy the most, despite the amount of science in my major. Hopefully, I'll be like J.K. Rowling of veterinarian and becomes wildly successful. If people try to do what they love, they can be happy at work.
If entertainment teaches us anything it's that money rules the world. Like Wu-Tang says, "cash rules everything around me", which is true. People are conditioned to think that happiness can only be achieved through material items and financial gain. So, people pursue a job as a lawyer, hating majoring in law, because in the end they'll be able to afford that big house in the hills. Not saying there's anything wrong with that, but will that big house really make them happy when they have to grudgingly go to a job they hate everyday to maintain that house?
Some people choose a profession they don't enjoy because of fear and what society (friends, teachers, family) tell them. So many times you hear about a kid who wants to be an artist or a musician being told by someone "oh, don't do that, you wont make any money! It's to competitive!". J.K. Rowling like many other kids was told the same thing. In her Harvard speech she mentions that her parents viewed her "over active imagination as an amusing personal quirk that will never pay the mortgage". Rowling though, took a chance other people are too scared to, she pursued what she thought she'd love. While at first she failed, in the end she became a wildly author.
People have trouble finding happiness at work because of their fear to do what they love. A fear of poverty and judgment from the people in their life causes them to go for what will make others happy or bring in the biggest buck. I was told so many times not to go for a career throughout the years. The classic, "oh, there's no jobs" or "there's too much math in that! Don't do that!". Recently I've decided to ignore peoples negative inputs and do what I think I'll enjoy the most, despite the amount of science in my major. Hopefully, I'll be like J.K. Rowling of veterinarian and becomes wildly successful. If people try to do what they love, they can be happy at work.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Written Assignment #1 -> Becoming a Happier Student
If I change my schedule I could be a happier student. I struggle with time management to an extreme. Being so sloppy with my time causes me anxiety and negativity in my personal life. If I can perhaps change my life and improve my scheduling skills then I can become a happier student and all around happier person. Putting my priorities in order and managing my time can improve my life.
My time management skills have always caused me extreme anxiety. Being a huge procrastinator I put everything for school to the last minute. I started working pretty young and I think that’s when my priorities started to skew. I had to juggle school, work, and friends, and it became obvious to me which was the most important. So I concentrated on work and friends because of the immediate gratification that came with these things. Sometime, I just didn’t do my school work at all because I felt I had no time. This of course peaked my anxiety, but I always found other things to blame then my lack of schedule.
My dramatic decrease in GPA and being so anxious all the time and stressed caused problems in my personal life. I was more on edge and angry all the time, I felt like everything was working against me, even though most of it was my own fault. I was getting into more fights and sleeping more too. All of these different problems caused me to feel like I was drowning. I was living my life the way most students were described too in “the drowning model” described in our reading. I was pushing everything to the last minute and it was causing other negative things to happen around me. This was all happening because of my lack of time management skills. A problem that seemed so insignificant had branched into a bunch of other problems. It went on like this until I was at my breaking point and had to basically scratch my way out, for a brief sense of relief, to merely start the cycle all over again.
Since high school I find myself falling into the same habits though. I constantly feel overwhelmed and like there’s never enough time. I feel burdened with responsibility, and I notice I still don’t know how to properly manage everything I have going on. While I have been trying to use my anxiety as a drive to get things done, I need to simply change my style. I need to sit down and try to set time aside and plan out my day. This way, instead of trying to find ways to use my anxiety to my advantage, I could perhaps be free of it.
Recently I had a job interview coming up and I had every intention of taking the job despite how much stress I already find myself under. I was doing what Dan Gilbert refers to as “miswanting”, I thought that if I got a second job I’d feel less pressure and be able to relax more. So I sat down and decided to weigh out the pros and cons of the job and try to put my priorities (school, my first job, sleep!), in order. Turns out taking the other job would not only severely cut my time for school work, but it would in the long run, cost me more to work there! I do everything at the last minute now, constantly freaking out, and that’s with one job. So in the long run, with my priorities in a better order, the job would not benefit in making me happier.
So if I could only work on my time management and priority issues, I can become a happier student and all around individual. I’ll have way less anxiety and less negativity in my personal life. Maybe I won’t yell at my boyfriend so much for things he has absolutely no control over if I’m not so stressed! I think not going for that job was a step in the right direction for my time management and priority skills. Now, I need to try to set a better schedule and follow it.
My time management skills have always caused me extreme anxiety. Being a huge procrastinator I put everything for school to the last minute. I started working pretty young and I think that’s when my priorities started to skew. I had to juggle school, work, and friends, and it became obvious to me which was the most important. So I concentrated on work and friends because of the immediate gratification that came with these things. Sometime, I just didn’t do my school work at all because I felt I had no time. This of course peaked my anxiety, but I always found other things to blame then my lack of schedule.
My dramatic decrease in GPA and being so anxious all the time and stressed caused problems in my personal life. I was more on edge and angry all the time, I felt like everything was working against me, even though most of it was my own fault. I was getting into more fights and sleeping more too. All of these different problems caused me to feel like I was drowning. I was living my life the way most students were described too in “the drowning model” described in our reading. I was pushing everything to the last minute and it was causing other negative things to happen around me. This was all happening because of my lack of time management skills. A problem that seemed so insignificant had branched into a bunch of other problems. It went on like this until I was at my breaking point and had to basically scratch my way out, for a brief sense of relief, to merely start the cycle all over again.
Since high school I find myself falling into the same habits though. I constantly feel overwhelmed and like there’s never enough time. I feel burdened with responsibility, and I notice I still don’t know how to properly manage everything I have going on. While I have been trying to use my anxiety as a drive to get things done, I need to simply change my style. I need to sit down and try to set time aside and plan out my day. This way, instead of trying to find ways to use my anxiety to my advantage, I could perhaps be free of it.
Recently I had a job interview coming up and I had every intention of taking the job despite how much stress I already find myself under. I was doing what Dan Gilbert refers to as “miswanting”, I thought that if I got a second job I’d feel less pressure and be able to relax more. So I sat down and decided to weigh out the pros and cons of the job and try to put my priorities (school, my first job, sleep!), in order. Turns out taking the other job would not only severely cut my time for school work, but it would in the long run, cost me more to work there! I do everything at the last minute now, constantly freaking out, and that’s with one job. So in the long run, with my priorities in a better order, the job would not benefit in making me happier.
So if I could only work on my time management and priority issues, I can become a happier student and all around individual. I’ll have way less anxiety and less negativity in my personal life. Maybe I won’t yell at my boyfriend so much for things he has absolutely no control over if I’m not so stressed! I think not going for that job was a step in the right direction for my time management and priority skills. Now, I need to try to set a better schedule and follow it.
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